Refurbished

It is rare that we reflect back on the times when we felt most broken with gratitude. This I believe is most often true when our marriages are on fragile ground. I sit here remembering the "by any means necessary" prayers I have prayed over my marriage. Oh let me be honest, they started out as prayers to fix my husband and evovled into petitions to repair my marriage. I often share the moments that I destinctly remember God reaffirming that he would answer my prayers. I did not realize what it would take to repair or refurbish my relationship. I could not have even imagine how my relationship would be broken down to the very bare essentials- left with nothing but a love for our children and a desire to please God. The darkest places uncovered. I still feel anxiety when I go back to some moments. I absolutely could not have imagined that after destroying our marriage that my husband and I would find any space where our love would even sligthly be restored. Yet now I find myself on the other side of a major valley, grateful to God for surviving and suprisingly at times even grateful for the journey. The journey of being sand down, cleaned up, revarnished. I respectfully acknowledge that this is a cyclical process. I am blessed to still be married and happy to be here. Honest about the work that lies ahead of my husband and I. Truly feeling empowered to do the work with a spiritual understanding and wisdom that were not present before the refurbishing process.