Refurbished

It is rare that we reflect back on the times when we felt most broken with gratitude. This I believe is most often true when our marriages are on fragile ground. I sit here remembering the "by any means necessary" prayers I have prayed over my marriage. Oh let me be honest, they started out as prayers to fix my husband and evovled into petitions to repair my marriage. I often share the moments that I destinctly remember God reaffirming that he would answer my prayers. I did not realize what it would take to repair or refurbish my relationship. I could not have even imagine how my relationship would be broken down to the very bare essentials- left with nothing but a love for our children and a desire to please God. The darkest places uncovered. I still feel anxiety when I go back to some moments. I absolutely could not have imagined that after destroying our marriage that my husband and I would find any space where our love would even sligthly be restored. Yet now I find myself on the other side of a major valley, grateful to God for surviving and suprisingly at times even grateful for the journey. The journey of being sand down, cleaned up, revarnished. I respectfully acknowledge that this is a cyclical process. I am blessed to still be married and happy to be here. Honest about the work that lies ahead of my husband and I. Truly feeling empowered to do the work with a spiritual understanding and wisdom that were not present before the refurbishing process.

Growing Together

Life moves by so quickly. If we are not careful we can be consumed with "what is happening to me". Everyone desires to reach their own picture of successs -- the house, the car, some children, more than enough money. Many of us have learned that you can have all of these things, however if your health fails or your relationships get rocky this all means very little. What matters most is peace of mind, the safety and support of those you love and quality of life.

Today, I visited two individuals at the hospital accompanied with a friend and my neice. I was faced with how quickly things can change. One woman with a successful career, slowed for just a moment by a painful yet easily fixed health problem. She was passionate about the opportunities her profession and spiritual community affords her to support a community that needs it greatly. The second was also an educated woman with an established profession. This woman is fighting cancer. Her beautiful chocolate skin scarred by the reaction to treatment. A strong spirit shines through although her body is obviously tired. It was impossible to see her and not think of the child, spouse and parents she could possibly leave behind.

I was reminded that it is a blessing to pursue your passion. To set goals that benefit you and your community is a privilege. We must use our time wisely and reprioritize our lives. If or when we are faced with the end of life or major life changes we don't reflect with gratitude on material things. We do lean on and are empowered by the strong spiritual life we build and relationships we have nurtured.